What Makes Life Great

life

Don’t you just love life’s little surprises? Those unexpected situations that you find yourself in that make you marvel at how quickly things can change and change for the better? Or those interesting people that you stumble across that make a difference to what would otherwise be an ordinary day? Without any effort on your part, everything has just come together and all that is required of you is to just be in the moment and live.

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When They Don’t Even Notice

loss

Everyone would like to believe that human beings are intuitive and self-aware to the point that they can understand the mistakes they make and even learn from them. When this occurs, at the very minimum, we make sure that we don’t repeat the same mistake. At the most, we use these experiences to transform and grow into better people. Therefore, it is clearly a tragedy when people have all these different life experiences yet learn nothing from them. Even when the consequences of the loss are staring them blatantly in the face or the repercussions are considerable and far-reaching, they may continue to live in blissful ignorance. Unfortunately, this reflects the approach of far too many people who don’t make life happen but allow life to happen to them.

Then again, living blissfully unaware of what is genuinely a loss may soften the blow of knowing that it has become another person’s gain.

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Black Love (Can You Handle It?)

Woman with Purpose

She’s fine as hell and exudes confidence wherever she goes

A brilliant cook, excellent housewife, an easy pick over these hoes

Smart and intelligent, she’ll make a success using little to nothing

And her sex game is on point. She can leave a brother weeping over her loving

 

She is such a catch that the last thing you worry about is the fact that she’s Black

She’s a once-in-a-lifetime find, there’s nothing in a good woman that she lacks

You see her for the beautiful queen that she is and the exceptional mother she’ll become

But do you understand that loving a Black woman will require a special kind of ‘someone’?

 

If she’s a smart Black woman, do you know the uphill battle she had to fight to be educated?

While others worried about grades, did you know that Black woman fought to not be a statistic?

To not be the single mother on welfare, the drug addict or abused sex worker walking the streets?

And if you think that getting the degree was hard, she had a bigger fight getting on that corporate ladder and landing on her feet.

 

If she’s a strong Black woman, do you know how many times she’s been broken?

The heartbreaks, attacks on her physical appearance and assaults to her self-esteem that she’s taken?

Many a woman are changed into the angry, Black woman we all know too well

But if she can still love after all she’s suffered, understand that you’ve found a fighter who’s survived the gates of hell.

 

But most importantly, if she’s an enlightened Black woman who has a true sense of self

Understand that there is no space in her world for idle talk, fake looks, poisoned diets or ill-gotten wealth

Know that she will take every hit to the Black race as a personal affront to her own well-being

And that she will not accept the propaganda leveled against Blacks

Not when the blood of our ancestors runs through her veins, reminding her that she’s the descendant of Queens.

 

Understand that walking hand in hand with a Black woman not only gives you a partner fortified through struggle

You also inherit the struggles she faces daily. She needs a man just as tough, not gullible

You inherit the insults, assumptions, biases, stereotypes and misunderstandings that she faces because of her skin

You inherit the fight the race faces on a whole throughout the world or simply through her next of kin.

 

So the next time you see a Black woman

Recognize that it’s not child’s play when you step to her as a man

She needs a care giver, life partner and ‘ride or die’ lover when she takes a stand

But if that’s too much to handle,  step aside and make room for the man who can

 

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Were They Really Your Friend?

I grew very close to a work colleague of mine and we kept in touch even long after I left the company and moved on to another job. I found her company delightful and despite us recounting stories of past experiences which we could, by now, say by rote, the conversations were no less intriguing. While swapping on-the-job stories, encouraging each other in small endeavours, comically describing people we couldn’t stand and even meeting other interesting people by extension, I began to believe that I not only found a friend but also someone I could call family. Unfortunately, one fateful evening we had an argument but unlike typical confrontations, where the damage is reparable and ‘I’m sorry’ is usually enough, this showed another side to her that was not only ugly but also disturbingly true. We have since parted ways but ever since then, she and other ‘friends’ that I’ve severed ties with have taught me the following:

Be Mindful Of What They Say To You In Humour

 

“The fact that they have craftily found a way to soften their venom doesn’t make it any less poisonous”

 

We know that it’s not uncommon for friends to poke fun at each other or to tease each other constantly. However, do take note of those half-sarcastic, half-tongue in cheek comments that they routinely make about you that are almost always negative. Be aware that laughter at the end of their statement or a casual tone doesn’t make the words any less malicious or targeted. The fact that they have craftily found a way to soften their venom doesn’t make it any less poisonous.

Beware Of Attention Seekers

 

“They seek the adoration and admiration of everyone but don’t care to listen, let alone learn, anything new from others”

 

They respect nothing and no one who looks to divert the spotlight and attention from them. Years of friendship can be forgotten in their fervour to be recognised and they will resort to disrespectful, raucous and obnoxious behaviour to get what they want or to wreak their vengeance on the offending party. They seek the adoration and admiration of everyone but don’t care to listen, let alone learn, anything new from others. They may also be a magnet for fights and friction, amidst an unimpressed audience, and are often clueless about the embarrassment this is causing to anyone close to them. Sustaining a friendship under such circumstances is impossible especially where sympathy, understanding and talks have done nothing to encourage a change in behaviour.

 

Honesty Is The Best Policy

 

“Too often people mistake a good friendship to mean ignoring obviously bad habits and dangerous behaviour, which they wouldn’t otherwise tolerate in strangers”

 

Friendship shouldn’t make you blind to what’s right and wrong. In fact, the purpose of healthy relationships such as these is that they help you to become better individuals. However, this will sometimes mean speaking some harsh truths that your ‘friend’ may very well know but has chosen to deny or ignore. Be prepared for the possibility that this may result in an argument or you being insulted, blacklisted or even slandered. Even if a friendship should end abruptly because of honesty, let it not be said that you didn’t care enough to try and reach out to someone who you once thought fondly of but is clearly hurting themselves. Too often people mistake a good friendship to mean ignoring obviously bad habits and dangerous behaviour, which they wouldn’t otherwise tolerate in strangers. Remain true to yourself and remain true to your friends, even if this may mean losing them in the process.

Being Depressed, Conflicted Or Unhappy Is No Excuse For Being Selfish

 

“If you’re not careful, they will happily watch your life grind to a halt for them while theirs remain at a standstill”

 

It’s understandable that friends will from time to time go through rough and trying times. Ultimately, the hallmark of a good friend is someone who will consistently support you during such difficult situations. However, it’s important that you understand the difference between a friend being in a momentary rut, who makes every effort to overcome it, and a friend who prefers wallowing in self-pity – making you their permanent crutch. There is nothing worse than someone who is fully aware of the root of their problem but does nothing except repeat the same issue day after day. After a time, they cease to become ‘victims’ but simply accomplices in their own demise. If you’re not careful, they will happily watch your life grind to a halt for them while theirs remain at a standstill.

Some People Are Only Meant To Be In Your Life For A Time

 

“They may not have been the friend that I thought they were but they definitely played their part in what will ultimately unfold to be my destiny”

 

Sometimes we just need to accept the fact that arguments, misunderstandings and fights are simply destiny’s way of bringing a definitive close to another chapter in our lives. For every ‘friend’ that I’ve had to part ways with, they either helped me to learn something new about myself, put my moral code and ethics to the test or just served as a medium through which I could meet other beautiful, likeminded and inspiring souls. In hindsight, I can now appreciate the invaluable lessons they taught me and the character-building experiences that they caused me to go through. They may not have been the friend that I thought they were but they definitely played their part in what will ultimately unfold to be my destiny.



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I Am My Own Palm Reader: This Is My Future

Instead of finding a palm reader or fortune teller to tell me what I want to hear or offer some glimpse of hope into my future, I’d rather focus on achieving what’s in my control and pray about the rest. I am my own palm reader and this is my future:

Meet The Man Of My Dreams

I’m going to meet the man of my dreams and our relationship will be as explosive as it is loving. We will be as crazy about each other as we are about life. We will be today’s version of the A Team where we’ll stand united against life’s challenges. He will be my King and I will be his Queen. He will be my rock and I will be his comfort. We will know each other’s weaknesses and not exploit them to our advantage but like pieces of a puzzle, he’ll match my weakness with his strength and I will greet his shortcomings with love.

My Kids

My kids will be beautiful. They will not only have soundness of mind but strength of character. They will be healthy, happy and enjoy their youth. While there is still breath in my body they will want for nothing and they will not be short of love. They will be a credit to their family and a blessing to this world, standing immovable and steadfast in the face of calamity, difficulty, heartbreak and pain.

Imma Get This Money

I will not live a life from pay check to pay check, caught up in the uncertainty of my future every time another recession hits or subjected to the whims of managers who are happy to claim the leadership title but quick to relinquish the work to others. As I sleep, my bank account will have money flowing in and as I vacation, funds will automatically be amassing to pay for the next one. I will be a mover and shaker in my field and I will not only excel at what I do but I will also become a pioneer in how I do it.

I Will Be Happy

I will be happy. My days of contentment, happiness and even euphoria will exceed those days of anxiety, doubt and pain. Every day that I wake, I will see a reason to give thanks and my spirit will be humbled by the sheer knowledge that I have been blessed with basic comforts and people who love and care for me. I will be content with little the same way that I am content with much and I will appreciate the people that matter and release the people that don’t. My memory will do well to keep a mental archive of all those moments which brought happiness and automatically delete and discard the rest. I will remain positive and hopeful and not bitter and resentful. I will love life and I will enjoy it.

I don’t need a fortune teller to tell me this. All I need is time and all I desire is to live long enough to witness it.



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