A Man In Love Doesn’t Need Convincing

man-in-love

Need I comment further? You won’t need to let him know that you’re hurting, he will feel it. You won’t need to prompt him to do little love gestures for you, it will come naturally. You won’t have to argue with him to care, that will be second nature. You won’t have to beg him to not hurt you – he will know better. Love will not need to give an account for whether or not it’s there. It will speak for itself through the way your partner treats you.

 

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Why You Got Hurt

why-you-were-hurt

There is no problem in loving others, just so long as you don’t love them at the expense of yourself, at the expense of your happiness and at the expense of your peace of mind. In life, the key to enjoyment and fulfilment is balance. No true love will ever require you to go against what you know is right and it will certainly not accept that you be less than yourself. Make the love you have for yourself be the benchmark for the kind of love you wish to receive from others. True love starts from you. What you accept for yourself is what you will attract from others.

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Black Love (Can You Handle It?)

Woman with Purpose

She’s fine as hell and exudes confidence wherever she goes

A brilliant cook, excellent housewife, an easy pick over these hoes

Smart and intelligent, she’ll make a success using little to nothing

And her sex game is on point. She can leave a brother weeping over her loving

 

She is such a catch that the last thing you worry about is the fact that she’s Black

She’s a once-in-a-lifetime find, there’s nothing in a good woman that she lacks

You see her for the beautiful queen that she is and the exceptional mother she’ll become

But do you understand that loving a Black woman will require a special kind of ‘someone’?

 

If she’s a smart Black woman, do you know the uphill battle she had to fight to be educated?

While others worried about grades, did you know that Black woman fought to not be a statistic?

To not be the single mother on welfare, the drug addict or abused sex worker walking the streets?

And if you think that getting the degree was hard, she had a bigger fight getting on that corporate ladder and landing on her feet.

 

If she’s a strong Black woman, do you know how many times she’s been broken?

The heartbreaks, attacks on her physical appearance and assaults to her self-esteem that she’s taken?

Many a woman are changed into the angry, Black woman we all know too well

But if she can still love after all she’s suffered, understand that you’ve found a fighter who’s survived the gates of hell.

 

But most importantly, if she’s an enlightened Black woman who has a true sense of self

Understand that there is no space in her world for idle talk, fake looks, poisoned diets or ill-gotten wealth

Know that she will take every hit to the Black race as a personal affront to her own well-being

And that she will not accept the propaganda leveled against Blacks

Not when the blood of our ancestors runs through her veins, reminding her that she’s the descendant of Queens.

 

Understand that walking hand in hand with a Black woman not only gives you a partner fortified through struggle

You also inherit the struggles she faces daily. She needs a man just as tough, not gullible

You inherit the insults, assumptions, biases, stereotypes and misunderstandings that she faces because of her skin

You inherit the fight the race faces on a whole throughout the world or simply through her next of kin.

 

So the next time you see a Black woman

Recognize that it’s not child’s play when you step to her as a man

She needs a care giver, life partner and ‘ride or die’ lover when she takes a stand

But if that’s too much to handle,  step aside and make room for the man who can

 

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It’s Not Your Fault, Right?

You were born into hurt. You were too small to be able to fight back, too naive to realize that you weren’t to blame, too young to avoid being dependent and unfortunate to have it happen to you. Now you’re grown but traces of the pain follows you into every interaction and every relationship. You were fortunate to find those that could understand. They sympathized each time you were at your worst and did or said things you didn’t mean. They understood and tolerated it until that fateful day when you finally started to hurt them. You pushed them away at a time when you needed them the most and now they no longer have the time or the patience to be party to your insanity. So they leave. You sit in self-pity blaming your problems on your past while they sit in clarity, seeing not the person that was the author of your pain but the fact that you’ve become the author of theirs.

“Don’t be so caught up in the pain of your past that you ignore the hurt it is leading you to inflict in the present”

DivineB-U-Ti

 



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