I Got This Far Without You

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Don’t you just love those people who were nowhere to be found when you were down and out but suddenly appear out of the woodworks with all their fanciful ideas, opinions and advice when you start to make some breakthrough? Better still, you will come across those people who are ready and eager to tell you that your dreams are unattainable and your goals unrealistic – not fully grasping the fact that you making it this far is a miracle by itself. Then it starts to become laughable when they take offence to the fact that you respectfully but firmly decline any so called ‘help’ or ‘support’ that they are claiming to offer. As far as I am concerned, if you weren’t there during my struggle, you have no business sharing in my success. If you have never had the courage to do the impossible, you have no business advising me about doing what has never been done before. Lastly, if you don’t believe in what I hope to achieve, use that energy to park your derriere on the sidelines instead of trying to convince me that I will fail. If you’ve decided that you will succeed in your endeavours then all that remains is hanging in there long enough to survive the roadblocks and delays that will inevitably mark your journey – that includes people and circumstances alike.

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I Saw It Long Before I Had It

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Where I am today wasn’t where I thought I’d be some years ago and yet my mind still runs wild with possibilities, with expectations and with dreams. Everyone has their own idea of what success looks like and what seems to be a ‘given’ for some may be a miracle for others. What was the norm for you may have taken blood, sweat and tears to achieve for me. Either way, what encourages me is the fact that my subconscious and my dreams remain a constant reminder that there is still work to be done. The difference now is that instead of rushing to the finale, I’ve now learnt to enjoy the ride!

 

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Life Lessons

Your mind is a powerful weapon

Do not take this for granted. Whatever you choose to believe about yourself, about your circumstances and about others will determine your behaviour, shape your approach to life and ultimately influence your destiny. Two people can be faced with a similar conundrum and how they respond to the situation will determine if they sink or swim. Before you tackle life’s challenges, you first have to tackle what’s in your head. You can’t expect to be happy if your mind is programmed to see the negative in everything. You cannot be incredible if you are content being average. You cannot expect to fly when you’re convinced you’ll fall and you will never be fulfilled if you believe that what you have is never enough. In fact, your mind is so powerful that it can work as a staying power when physically your body is at the brink of giving up. That’s how people manage to shed weight – they push pass muscle fatigue and considerable discomfort using purely mental staying power. In fact, that’s how people all around the world survive in often inhospitable conditions – they hone their psyche to see hope in the very bare minimum that life affords them. It is your mind that will either make or break you – not life’s problems.

 

A man that expects you to give up your dreams and ambitions is not a man you should be with.

 First of all, any sensible man will realise that a woman that has her own is an asset to both him as an individual and to the relationship. This woman will not only be able to stimulate him mentally but can also ride the tide of hardship and tough times when life decides to throw the routine curveball at an otherwise picturesque life. Therefore, the man who believes that your pursuit of certain goals and dreams is robbing him of your complete and utter attention is not only a short-sighted idiot but also a train-wreck waiting to happen. The irony of it all is that for many women who have sacrificed such a crucial part of their future for their partner, they not only turn around regretting it but the man also has a tendency to resent them for suddenly becoming a burden. Always have your own.

 

Do not be distracted by naysayers and dream-slayers

Yeah, these are the people we affectionately call ‘haters’. While you see the light at the end of the tunnel, they see the darkness and obscurity that shroud the path. Where you possess vision, they lack imagination. Where you look to be a pioneer, they look to reinvent the wheel and these haters spend a considerable amount of time and energy suppressing whatever you offer in the way of uniqueness and change. Don’t be distracted by them and don’t be deceived by them. You represent what they could’ve been and the lost dreams they could’ve realized. Do not allow their misery to make you a fellow companion. Push pass the doubts, focus on your goals and when you get knocked down, get back up even stronger. Prove them wrong and your instincts right because believe it or not, your success will prove what they already grudgingly knew – nothing is impossible.

 

Watch what he does, not what he says

Now this is in no way portraying all men to be manipulative and self-serving individuals but the ones that are can be very selfish beings. They will tell you exactly what you want to hear, play on your weaknesses and emotionally strike at your Achilles heel to get what they want. A woman has to be able to see her man with a very discerning eye – the type of discernment that questions if your man truly professes to love you, why is it taking him years to marry you? If he wants to have kids, why does he immediately recommend abortion when you suspect you’re pregnant? If you are as important to him as he says, why is he hiding you from his friends and family? If you are his girlfriend, why does he only seem to find time for you at nights? Word is wind. His actions speak the truth.

 

What you accept determines how you are treated

This applies to all spectrum of life – at home, in the workplace, in the streets, in relationships etc. We judge and size each other up all the time. The way we speak, how we conduct ourselves, what we see as offensive or treat as comical all determine how people behave towards us. If you are not getting the respect that you seek, it’s because you’re not behaving like you deserve it. That doesn’t stop insults from flowing or people attempting to belittle and abuse you but it does determine what you tolerate. All of this is essentially rooted in your sense of self and what you perceive to be your self-worth. People who know what they’re about don’t settle for less and no amount of brow-beating will ever change that.

 

Love

This is a battle that you will never win. If you are too hard and unyielding then you prevent love from penetrating the innermost and particularly vulnerable parts of your soul. This deprives you of a very unique and beautiful experience in life. However, it just as quickly proves to be a double-edged sword because when it grows sour yet runs so deep, it tends to do the most damage. You cannot win because it was never meant to be a game that you beat. It is an emotion that is as flawed as the people who show it so it will never be perfect, consistent or even enough sometimes but a little goes a far way. Unfortunately, nowadays people are under the misguided notion that they deserve to be on the receiving end of love while giving little to nothing in return. You have others that even go as far as to say that some are not even deserving of affection. However, we’ve seen what ‘lack of love’ looks like – it’s the broken families, the mass murders, human trafficking, animal cruelty, mentally scarred children, misguided youths, depressed adults etc. that multiply and dominate today’s world. Love can heal and it can hurt but with no love at all, life becomes no better than death.



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I Am My Own Palm Reader: This Is My Future

Instead of finding a palm reader or fortune teller to tell me what I want to hear or offer some glimpse of hope into my future, I’d rather focus on achieving what’s in my control and pray about the rest. I am my own palm reader and this is my future:

Meet The Man Of My Dreams

I’m going to meet the man of my dreams and our relationship will be as explosive as it is loving. We will be as crazy about each other as we are about life. We will be today’s version of the A Team where we’ll stand united against life’s challenges. He will be my King and I will be his Queen. He will be my rock and I will be his comfort. We will know each other’s weaknesses and not exploit them to our advantage but like pieces of a puzzle, he’ll match my weakness with his strength and I will greet his shortcomings with love.

My Kids

My kids will be beautiful. They will not only have soundness of mind but strength of character. They will be healthy, happy and enjoy their youth. While there is still breath in my body they will want for nothing and they will not be short of love. They will be a credit to their family and a blessing to this world, standing immovable and steadfast in the face of calamity, difficulty, heartbreak and pain.

Imma Get This Money

I will not live a life from pay check to pay check, caught up in the uncertainty of my future every time another recession hits or subjected to the whims of managers who are happy to claim the leadership title but quick to relinquish the work to others. As I sleep, my bank account will have money flowing in and as I vacation, funds will automatically be amassing to pay for the next one. I will be a mover and shaker in my field and I will not only excel at what I do but I will also become a pioneer in how I do it.

I Will Be Happy

I will be happy. My days of contentment, happiness and even euphoria will exceed those days of anxiety, doubt and pain. Every day that I wake, I will see a reason to give thanks and my spirit will be humbled by the sheer knowledge that I have been blessed with basic comforts and people who love and care for me. I will be content with little the same way that I am content with much and I will appreciate the people that matter and release the people that don’t. My memory will do well to keep a mental archive of all those moments which brought happiness and automatically delete and discard the rest. I will remain positive and hopeful and not bitter and resentful. I will love life and I will enjoy it.

I don’t need a fortune teller to tell me this. All I need is time and all I desire is to live long enough to witness it.



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