Punching Above Your Belt


It’s comical how people will bite off more than they can chew yet blame everything and everyone else for the fact that they are struggling to cope. The same applies to relationships where everyone is looking for someone who has their shit together while many of these same people remain blind to the fact that their shit is constantly falling apart. You don’t ask for a woman who is established, stable, smart and beautiful to settle for broken promises, little ambition, no effort and weak ass attempts at romance. You don’t expect to have a man who is honest, respectful, intelligent and forward-thinking to be happy with a woman who will always start but never finish stuff, never plan for the future and is more interested in her wardrobe than she is about any relationship. To expect much yet give little is genuinely punching above your belt. You either drop to a person’s level or make it that they rise to yours. We all operate on different mental and spiritual wavelenghts as we go through life. So I guess the key is in finding someone who is vibing on the same frequency when it comes to matters of the heart and mind.


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You Expect What You Don’t Give?


Isn’t it funny? You will have someone demand from you the very thing that they themselves don’t even care to give. You may even be held to rigorous, unyielding demands and expectations that those very same people will relax or forget when it comes to themselves. It’s even more comical when you see this happening in relationships. How many have seen a partner demand commitment yet excercise little self-discipline when it comes to faithfulness? How many complain about lack of affection but conveniently turn a blind eye to the fact that they give equally little to no attention? How many insist on respect but consistently fail to give it? Yet we wonder why relationships are not what they used to be………


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Not That Kind of Woman

Nope. naaw. Not even close. I won’t be emotionally blackmailed or shamed because it’s inconvenient for any man that my standards are not LOW enough to be an easy conquest. I also won’t allow spells of loneliness to deceive me into thinking that it would be easier to settle for someone and certain things that I know are less than what I deserve. I’d rather be the type that you think twice about approaching, that you think long and hard about wooing. Stepping to me without any fear of rejection, with an unwavering sense of confidence that you will have your own way will get your feelings hurt and your ego bruised.

The looks alone won’t cut it, the swag will not be your saving grace and showing a bit of attention will not get you far. I’m not angry and bitter, I’m not crazy and unnecessarily difficult, I’m not playing games or being unrealistic, I’m simply not that kind of woman……



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You Want To Know Someone’s True Nature?

It’s easy to fall in love with the good that people exhibit but if you’re going to enter into a life long union with someone, it’s important that you understand whether or not you can live with the bad. One of the reasons why we often fail to do this is because we place a lot of emphasis on the outward rather than the inward. For instance, I’d rather teach a man how to cook than have to teach him how to be a gentleman. I’d rather have a problem with him leaving the toilet seat up than have a problem with him not knowing how to support me at my lowest. I’d rather fuss about his fashion sense than have to fuss at him for not knowing how to be a good father to my kids. However, most importantly, we have to appreciate that difficulties, upsets and hard times serve a purpose. They are the tests and trials that separates the friends from the foes, the hypocrite from the genuine, the lies from the truth. Better to spend your time knowing someone than waste your time trying to get rid of them.




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Black Love (Can You Handle It?)

Woman with Purpose

She’s fine as hell and exudes confidence wherever she goes

A brilliant cook, excellent housewife, an easy pick over these hoes

Smart and intelligent, she’ll make a success using little to nothing

And her sex game is on point. She can leave a brother weeping over her loving


She is such a catch that the last thing you worry about is the fact that she’s Black

She’s a once-in-a-lifetime find, there’s nothing in a good woman that she lacks

You see her for the beautiful queen that she is and the exceptional mother she’ll become

But do you understand that loving a Black woman will require a special kind of ‘someone’?


If she’s a smart Black woman, do you know the uphill battle she had to fight to be educated?

While others worried about grades, did you know that Black woman fought to not be a statistic?

To not be the single mother on welfare, the drug addict or abused sex worker walking the streets?

And if you think that getting the degree was hard, she had a bigger fight getting on that corporate ladder and landing on her feet.


If she’s a strong Black woman, do you know how many times she’s been broken?

The heartbreaks, attacks on her physical appearance and assaults to her self-esteem that she’s taken?

Many a woman are changed into the angry, Black woman we all know too well

But if she can still love after all she’s suffered, understand that you’ve found a fighter who’s survived the gates of hell.


But most importantly, if she’s an enlightened Black woman who has a true sense of self

Understand that there is no space in her world for idle talk, fake looks, poisoned diets or ill-gotten wealth

Know that she will take every hit to the Black race as a personal affront to her own well-being

And that she will not accept the propaganda leveled against Blacks

Not when the blood of our ancestors runs through her veins, reminding her that she’s the descendant of Queens.


Understand that walking hand in hand with a Black woman not only gives you a partner fortified through struggle

You also inherit the struggles she faces daily. She needs a man just as tough, not gullible

You inherit the insults, assumptions, biases, stereotypes and misunderstandings that she faces because of her skin

You inherit the fight the race faces on a whole throughout the world or simply through her next of kin.


So the next time you see a Black woman

Recognize that it’s not child’s play when you step to her as a man

She needs a care giver, life partner and ‘ride or die’ lover when she takes a stand

But if that’s too much to handle,  step aside and make room for the man who can



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My Man

Love on another level


I’ll know him by the way he walks

The way he moves

The way he talks


A quiet determination he will possess

And an iron-clad will which can withstand any test

He will be a work of art from head to toe

On that I won’t need a second opinion, I’d already know


He need not be perfect

And I may not meet him the way I planned

But when I see him

It won’t take much to know, ‘That’s my man’


I’m the shrew that Shakespeare wrote about

That can never be tamed for good

But stand me before this man of substance

And he might just do what my exes never could


His gaze will be disarming, his silence powerful

His actions will be sure, his wisdom undeniable

He will be the toast of many but I will be his biggest fan

Because dealing with a woman who’s a handful

Requires the experience and skill of a man


We may argue, fuss and fight

But we’ll back each other 100%

And if you think the conflict between us is bad

Try interfering in our business, with or without consent


My confidence in him will fuel his courage

His strength will set fire to my ambitions

Offering him the best of me won’t seem like a sin

After all I was always a Queen and now I’ve finally found my King


Knowing him will make sense to why past relationships never worked out

Being with him will redefine what happiness is really about

I won’t have to be strong all the time, he will fill that role effortlessly

And imma take care o’ this man, whether it’s in or out the bedroom



So I’ll continue to live my life to the fullest

I’ve yet to hit my peak and my journey has just begun

This queen will be getting her ‘ish together

He won’t even know what hit him by the time I’m done



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