Your mind is a powerful weapon
Do not take this for granted. Whatever you choose to believe about yourself, about your circumstances and about others will determine your behaviour, shape your approach to life and ultimately influence your destiny. Two people can be faced with a similar conundrum and how they respond to the situation will determine if they sink or swim. Before you tackle life’s challenges, you first have to tackle what’s in your head. You can’t expect to be happy if your mind is programmed to see the negative in everything. You cannot be incredible if you are content being average. You cannot expect to fly when you’re convinced you’ll fall and you will never be fulfilled if you believe that what you have is never enough. In fact, your mind is so powerful that it can work as a staying power when physically your body is at the brink of giving up. That’s how people manage to shed weight – they push pass muscle fatigue and considerable discomfort using purely mental staying power. In fact, that’s how people all around the world survive in often inhospitable conditions – they hone their psyche to see hope in the very bare minimum that life affords them. It is your mind that will either make or break you – not life’s problems.
A man that expects you to give up your dreams and ambitions is not a man you should be with.
First of all, any sensible man will realise that a woman that has her own is an asset to both him as an individual and to the relationship. This woman will not only be able to stimulate him mentally but can also ride the tide of hardship and tough times when life decides to throw the routine curveball at an otherwise picturesque life. Therefore, the man who believes that your pursuit of certain goals and dreams is robbing him of your complete and utter attention is not only a short-sighted idiot but also a train-wreck waiting to happen. The irony of it all is that for many women who have sacrificed such a crucial part of their future for their partner, they not only turn around regretting it but the man also has a tendency to resent them for suddenly becoming a burden. Always have your own.
Do not be distracted by naysayers and dream-slayers
Yeah, these are the people we affectionately call ‘haters’. While you see the light at the end of the tunnel, they see the darkness and obscurity that shroud the path. Where you possess vision, they lack imagination. Where you look to be a pioneer, they look to reinvent the wheel and these haters spend a considerable amount of time and energy suppressing whatever you offer in the way of uniqueness and change. Don’t be distracted by them and don’t be deceived by them. You represent what they could’ve been and the lost dreams they could’ve realized. Do not allow their misery to make you a fellow companion. Push pass the doubts, focus on your goals and when you get knocked down, get back up even stronger. Prove them wrong and your instincts right because believe it or not, your success will prove what they already grudgingly knew – nothing is impossible.
Watch what he does, not what he says
Now this is in no way portraying all men to be manipulative and self-serving individuals but the ones that are can be very selfish beings. They will tell you exactly what you want to hear, play on your weaknesses and emotionally strike at your Achilles heel to get what they want. A woman has to be able to see her man with a very discerning eye – the type of discernment that questions if your man truly professes to love you, why is it taking him years to marry you? If he wants to have kids, why does he immediately recommend abortion when you suspect you’re pregnant? If you are as important to him as he says, why is he hiding you from his friends and family? If you are his girlfriend, why does he only seem to find time for you at nights? Word is wind. His actions speak the truth.
What you accept determines how you are treated
This applies to all spectrum of life – at home, in the workplace, in the streets, in relationships etc. We judge and size each other up all the time. The way we speak, how we conduct ourselves, what we see as offensive or treat as comical all determine how people behave towards us. If you are not getting the respect that you seek, it’s because you’re not behaving like you deserve it. That doesn’t stop insults from flowing or people attempting to belittle and abuse you but it does determine what you tolerate. All of this is essentially rooted in your sense of self and what you perceive to be your self-worth. People who know what they’re about don’t settle for less and no amount of brow-beating will ever change that.
This is a battle that you will never win. If you are too hard and unyielding then you prevent love from penetrating the innermost and particularly vulnerable parts of your soul. This deprives you of a very unique and beautiful experience in life. However, it just as quickly proves to be a double-edged sword because when it grows sour yet runs so deep, it tends to do the most damage. You cannot win because it was never meant to be a game that you beat. It is an emotion that is as flawed as the people who show it so it will never be perfect, consistent or even enough sometimes but a little goes a far way. Unfortunately, nowadays people are under the misguided notion that they deserve to be on the receiving end of love while giving little to nothing in return. You have others that even go as far as to say that some are not even deserving of affection. However, we’ve seen what ‘lack of love’ looks like – it’s the broken families, the mass murders, human trafficking, animal cruelty, mentally scarred children, misguided youths, depressed adults etc. that multiply and dominate today’s world. Love can heal and it can hurt but with no love at all, life becomes no better than death.
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