I Have No Reason To Compete With You

the-fight

 

It’s comical watching the politics, maneuvering, underhanded tactics, ass kissing and self-preservation stunts that people pull in the workplace just to keep their position or to make their way up the corporate ladder. On the one hand, you sympathize with them and appreciate that they have bills to pay, possibly kids (or pets) to feed and personal financial battles which make it absolutely paramount that they remain in work. In short, they have to survive. But should your survival hinge on taking food out of another person’s mouth? Should your well-being be preserved at the cost of another’s? Are you the only one that lady luck should look favorably upon? Understandably, if you have the relevant skills, experience and attitude, you should not be denied the opportunities that emerge in the workplace for growth or promotion. However, many times the claws come out and the rat race begins when people observe in the workplace that they are either equally matched or easily surpassed in talent. I have worked in several organisations during my lifetime and one thing that remains constant is the fact that people believe that WE are all working towards the same aim – to be pals with higher management, to get that bigger pay check, to be in charge instead of taking orders etc. Often times they are left shocked and slightly amused when ultimately I leave for other pursuits. In their narrow-minded thinking, they believe that either the stress was too much or simply that I’ve fortunately reduced the level of competition they will have to face when going for that promotion. What they fail to realize is that when you occupy a role or stay in an organisation long enough, there comes  a time where you’ve learnt as much as it can teach you or you’ve simply concluded that the role is not something you want to do for the rest of your life. So I never fear moving on because I’m never afraid of re-adapting and growing my skills set. Therefore, while many (who stay behind) remain completely focused on becoming a permanent fixture within the buildings they work in, I focus on being so marketable that I will always be in demand wherever I go. Ultimately, I will know that I have achieved my goal, the day that that lucrative company I finally work for, so happens to be my own.

 

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You Want To Know Someone’s True Nature?

It’s easy to fall in love with the good that people exhibit but if you’re going to enter into a life long union with someone, it’s important that you understand whether or not you can live with the bad. One of the reasons why we often fail to do this is because we place a lot of emphasis on the outward rather than the inward. For instance, I’d rather teach a man how to cook than have to teach him how to be a gentleman. I’d rather have a problem with him leaving the toilet seat up than have a problem with him not knowing how to support me at my lowest. I’d rather fuss about his fashion sense than have to fuss at him for not knowing how to be a good father to my kids. However, most importantly, we have to appreciate that difficulties, upsets and hard times serve a purpose. They are the tests and trials that separates the friends from the foes, the hypocrite from the genuine, the lies from the truth. Better to spend your time knowing someone than waste your time trying to get rid of them.

true-nature

 

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“I’ve Changed, Honest”

Isn’t it funny that you will speak to someone till you’re blue in the face and they still won’t hear you? However, the minute you decide to walk away, they suddenly see the light? Isn’t it incredible that we choose to have selective hearing when we think that we have nothing to lose but suddenly can see, hear and understand all when everything has been lost? Then there’s this assumption that when we’ve had some time for self-reflection and ‘so-called’ improvement, we are now on par with the other person mentally and spiritually. Only to find that they’ve improved so much more since our last stint with them and that you will be constantly fighting to keep up with their changes. Some people find it hard to believe that the time shared with others was really only meant to teach certain lessons. I find that particularly true when it comes to exes. However, never forget that the world doesn’t stop spinning on account of you suffering a break up. People DO move on so there’s no sense in trying to play catch up. For many, the past will remain just that – and that includes all the people in it.

 

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Black Love (Can You Handle It?)

Woman with Purpose

She’s fine as hell and exudes confidence wherever she goes

A brilliant cook, excellent housewife, an easy pick over these hoes

Smart and intelligent, she’ll make a success using little to nothing

And her sex game is on point. She can leave a brother weeping over her loving

 

She is such a catch that the last thing you worry about is the fact that she’s Black

She’s a once-in-a-lifetime find, there’s nothing in a good woman that she lacks

You see her for the beautiful queen that she is and the exceptional mother she’ll become

But do you understand that loving a Black woman will require a special kind of ‘someone’?

 

If she’s a smart Black woman, do you know the uphill battle she had to fight to be educated?

While others worried about grades, did you know that Black woman fought to not be a statistic?

To not be the single mother on welfare, the drug addict or abused sex worker walking the streets?

And if you think that getting the degree was hard, she had a bigger fight getting on that corporate ladder and landing on her feet.

 

If she’s a strong Black woman, do you know how many times she’s been broken?

The heartbreaks, attacks on her physical appearance and assaults to her self-esteem that she’s taken?

Many a woman are changed into the angry, Black woman we all know too well

But if she can still love after all she’s suffered, understand that you’ve found a fighter who’s survived the gates of hell.

 

But most importantly, if she’s an enlightened Black woman who has a true sense of self

Understand that there is no space in her world for idle talk, fake looks, poisoned diets or ill-gotten wealth

Know that she will take every hit to the Black race as a personal affront to her own well-being

And that she will not accept the propaganda leveled against Blacks

Not when the blood of our ancestors runs through her veins, reminding her that she’s the descendant of Queens.

 

Understand that walking hand in hand with a Black woman not only gives you a partner fortified through struggle

You also inherit the struggles she faces daily. She needs a man just as tough, not gullible

You inherit the insults, assumptions, biases, stereotypes and misunderstandings that she faces because of her skin

You inherit the fight the race faces on a whole throughout the world or simply through her next of kin.

 

So the next time you see a Black woman

Recognize that it’s not child’s play when you step to her as a man

She needs a care giver, life partner and ‘ride or die’ lover when she takes a stand

But if that’s too much to handle,  step aside and make room for the man who can

 

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