My Man

Love on another level

 

I’ll know him by the way he walks

The way he moves

The way he talks

 

A quiet determination he will possess

And an iron-clad will which can withstand any test

He will be a work of art from head to toe

On that I won’t need a second opinion, I’d already know

 

He need not be perfect

And I may not meet him the way I planned

But when I see him

It won’t take much to know, ‘That’s my man’

 

I’m the shrew that Shakespeare wrote about

That can never be tamed for good

But stand me before this man of substance

And he might just do what my exes never could

 

His gaze will be disarming, his silence powerful

His actions will be sure, his wisdom undeniable

He will be the toast of many but I will be his biggest fan

Because dealing with a woman who’s a handful

Requires the experience and skill of a man

 

We may argue, fuss and fight

But we’ll back each other 100%

And if you think the conflict between us is bad

Try interfering in our business, with or without consent

 

My confidence in him will fuel his courage

His strength will set fire to my ambitions

Offering him the best of me won’t seem like a sin

After all I was always a Queen and now I’ve finally found my King

 

Knowing him will make sense to why past relationships never worked out

Being with him will redefine what happiness is really about

I won’t have to be strong all the time, he will fill that role effortlessly

And imma take care o’ this man, whether it’s in or out the bedroom

TRUST ME

 

So I’ll continue to live my life to the fullest

I’ve yet to hit my peak and my journey has just begun

This queen will be getting her ‘ish together

He won’t even know what hit him by the time I’m done

 



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The Coward

It may have been their conditioning from birth

Or maybe it’s just their personality

To snivel, whine and moan about their predicament

Yet be the last to confront their problems in reality

 

A coward comes in all shapes and sizes

But one thing they have in common

Is to tell their problems to everyone in sight

Except the one who originally caused them

 

They’ll sit back and watch you fight their battles

And give themselves credit for remaining neutral if things go south

They’ll be the first in line to receive the benefits from the struggle

And throw you under the bus because self-preservation is what they’re about

 

Then there are those who talk a good game

And are convincing enough to appear genuine

They’ll claim the title of the underdog who makes the incredible comeback

Only to find they’re nothing more than an uncomfortable idiot with a grin

 

They bluster and flare bright, fueled by the attention

Then they dwindle quickly out of sight, the minute there is tension

They have a talent to seek out camaraderie when they’re in a pickle

And a knack for disappearing when you’re in trouble, however big or little

 

So what do you do when you see that coward?

That sniveling, spineless, yellow-bellied ass wipe?

Take a closer look, there’s a coward in us too

You’ll see him the next time you decide to flee and NOT fight

 

 



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It’s Not Your Fault, Right?

You were born into hurt. You were too small to be able to fight back, too naive to realize that you weren’t to blame, too young to avoid being dependent and unfortunate to have it happen to you. Now you’re grown but traces of the pain follows you into every interaction and every relationship. You were fortunate to find those that could understand. They sympathized each time you were at your worst and did or said things you didn’t mean. They understood and tolerated it until that fateful day when you finally started to hurt them. You pushed them away at a time when you needed them the most and now they no longer have the time or the patience to be party to your insanity. So they leave. You sit in self-pity blaming your problems on your past while they sit in clarity, seeing not the person that was the author of your pain but the fact that you’ve become the author of theirs.

“Don’t be so caught up in the pain of your past that you ignore the hurt it is leading you to inflict in the present”

DivineB-U-Ti

 



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Were They Really Your Friend?

I grew very close to a work colleague of mine and we kept in touch even long after I left the company and moved on to another job. I found her company delightful and despite us recounting stories of past experiences which we could, by now, say by rote, the conversations were no less intriguing. While swapping on-the-job stories, encouraging each other in small endeavours, comically describing people we couldn’t stand and even meeting other interesting people by extension, I began to believe that I not only found a friend but also someone I could call family. Unfortunately, one fateful evening we had an argument but unlike typical confrontations, where the damage is reparable and ‘I’m sorry’ is usually enough, this showed another side to her that was not only ugly but also disturbingly true. We have since parted ways but ever since then, she and other ‘friends’ that I’ve severed ties with have taught me the following:

Be Mindful Of What They Say To You In Humour

 

“The fact that they have craftily found a way to soften their venom doesn’t make it any less poisonous”

 

We know that it’s not uncommon for friends to poke fun at each other or to tease each other constantly. However, do take note of those half-sarcastic, half-tongue in cheek comments that they routinely make about you that are almost always negative. Be aware that laughter at the end of their statement or a casual tone doesn’t make the words any less malicious or targeted. The fact that they have craftily found a way to soften their venom doesn’t make it any less poisonous.

Beware Of Attention Seekers

 

“They seek the adoration and admiration of everyone but don’t care to listen, let alone learn, anything new from others”

 

They respect nothing and no one who looks to divert the spotlight and attention from them. Years of friendship can be forgotten in their fervour to be recognised and they will resort to disrespectful, raucous and obnoxious behaviour to get what they want or to wreak their vengeance on the offending party. They seek the adoration and admiration of everyone but don’t care to listen, let alone learn, anything new from others. They may also be a magnet for fights and friction, amidst an unimpressed audience, and are often clueless about the embarrassment this is causing to anyone close to them. Sustaining a friendship under such circumstances is impossible especially where sympathy, understanding and talks have done nothing to encourage a change in behaviour.

 

Honesty Is The Best Policy

 

“Too often people mistake a good friendship to mean ignoring obviously bad habits and dangerous behaviour, which they wouldn’t otherwise tolerate in strangers”

 

Friendship shouldn’t make you blind to what’s right and wrong. In fact, the purpose of healthy relationships such as these is that they help you to become better individuals. However, this will sometimes mean speaking some harsh truths that your ‘friend’ may very well know but has chosen to deny or ignore. Be prepared for the possibility that this may result in an argument or you being insulted, blacklisted or even slandered. Even if a friendship should end abruptly because of honesty, let it not be said that you didn’t care enough to try and reach out to someone who you once thought fondly of but is clearly hurting themselves. Too often people mistake a good friendship to mean ignoring obviously bad habits and dangerous behaviour, which they wouldn’t otherwise tolerate in strangers. Remain true to yourself and remain true to your friends, even if this may mean losing them in the process.

Being Depressed, Conflicted Or Unhappy Is No Excuse For Being Selfish

 

“If you’re not careful, they will happily watch your life grind to a halt for them while theirs remain at a standstill”

 

It’s understandable that friends will from time to time go through rough and trying times. Ultimately, the hallmark of a good friend is someone who will consistently support you during such difficult situations. However, it’s important that you understand the difference between a friend being in a momentary rut, who makes every effort to overcome it, and a friend who prefers wallowing in self-pity – making you their permanent crutch. There is nothing worse than someone who is fully aware of the root of their problem but does nothing except repeat the same issue day after day. After a time, they cease to become ‘victims’ but simply accomplices in their own demise. If you’re not careful, they will happily watch your life grind to a halt for them while theirs remain at a standstill.

Some People Are Only Meant To Be In Your Life For A Time

 

“They may not have been the friend that I thought they were but they definitely played their part in what will ultimately unfold to be my destiny”

 

Sometimes we just need to accept the fact that arguments, misunderstandings and fights are simply destiny’s way of bringing a definitive close to another chapter in our lives. For every ‘friend’ that I’ve had to part ways with, they either helped me to learn something new about myself, put my moral code and ethics to the test or just served as a medium through which I could meet other beautiful, likeminded and inspiring souls. In hindsight, I can now appreciate the invaluable lessons they taught me and the character-building experiences that they caused me to go through. They may not have been the friend that I thought they were but they definitely played their part in what will ultimately unfold to be my destiny.



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