Relationship Chronicles: Letter to the Sidechick

To you my dearest sidechick

I know you’ll smirk when you see this

But let’s see after reading its full contents

If that smile will remain on your face b*tch

 

Thank you for capitalising on my relationship problems

And convincing my partner into thinking you’re the solution

But just like our problems, you too shall pass

And your plans to become the wife is really a delusion

 

Your 5 seconds of fame will never measure up

To the several years of history between us

And though your bedroom acrobatics grants you day and night passes with him

You remain a circus attraction, nothing more than lust

 

You must have struggled significantly to find someone of your own

And had we met under different circumstances, I would have helped if I had known

So I understand that the best you could do was to share a man already promised to another

But you made a terrible mistake to tangle with me who’s not only his wife but to his kids – a mother

 

You forget that you remain relevant so long as we have conflict

That you are the ready outlet for all the pent-up frustration and anger expressed through his dick

That your days are numbered, your allocated time – few in the role you play as his lover

Because the day we get through this rough patch, you’ll be lucky if he even bothers

 

I go through this trouble of setting the record straight

Because he’s a good man and you’re his first (and last) indiscretion

I did not invest my time and energy into this man

So you could benefit simply because it’s your intention

 

I need not fight and get physical with you

Because I know your place is temporary

You are the ‘bad times’ they spoke of when I took my vows

Though you believe you’re living the good times on the contrary

 

Because of you I’m constantly reminded of one thing

Despite the fact that you believe yourself to be better

You will forever remain the runner up p*&sy

As long as this ring remains on my finger

 

*Stay tuned for the side-chick’s response to the wife*

 



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